How Ino Almost Died
by Devdog64
Summary: Temari is moving in with Shikamaru, Sasuke's back, Naruto dates Hinata, Ino, Sakura, Kankouro and Gaara take up stalking, and someone is lurking in the shadows, trying to get Naruto. And you ask: how can I fit in all in one story? With help and luck...
1. Chapter 1

AN: I don't own Naruto, fortunately for you, because eventually, it would get scary, in so many ways. Oh, yeah, I had help with this story from my friend, year-of-the-gnat. Yes, that is a weird name, but the story isn't weird (ok, it's as normal as it gets for the title). Anyway…

* * *

It was an early spring day in Konoha. The sun was shining brightly, birds were chirping and the flowers were blooming. 

Temari was halfway through putting her hair up, when she suddenly smiled at her reflection and pulled out the elastic bands._ I'll leave it down, for him_, she thought. She grabbed her bag and fan, before leaving her apartment.

Glancing over her shoulder, she grimaced at her current residence. When she moved to Konoha, two years ago, the shabby eyesore of an apartment complex had the only rooms available. It was cheap, but the living conditions… not really worth it. Temari could've guessed that the place was below the health requirements, but she didn't care about that. She was moving in with Shikamaru soon. The two of them had been going steady for about a year, after Shikamaru had finally gotten the nerve to ask her out. She accepted of course, but she was kind of ticked that he took so long. She had only moved to Konoha for him… and to get away from Kankoro, who had grown unbearable, since Gaara hit puberty, or when Kankoro realized it.

Temari shook her head and sighed. If she could've she would've brought Gaara with her, but unfortunately the Kazekage couldn't have vacations. She heaved her fan onto her back and continued down the road to Shikamaru's place.

Little did she know, a blonde and a pink-haired girl spied on her from the trees. Ino lowered her binoculars, as a high-pitched voice interrupted the silence.

"Ino, why are we even here?" Sakura whined. Ino quickly tackled the girl, trying to silence her, screaming 'Shut up, Forehead!' This of course resulted in the two girls falling out of the tree. Temari grabbed her fan as she turned, but she let go of it, as a sweat drop inched down the back of her head.

Ino immediately got up. "I found you, Sakura!" she yelled, a little too loud, obviously gesturing to Sakura that to 'play along'. Sakura cocked her head, a confused expression on her face.

"What's wrong with your eye? One's blinking and the other isn't."-Ino elbowed Sakura-"Ow! Oh, I mean, you found me!" Temari of course knew they were up to no good, but she didn't care. It probably had something to do with the Uchiha kid-Sasuke.

Temari remembered the day he came back well, because it was Shikamaru's eighteenth birthday, which was about two years ago. He arrived at the village gate, where Temari had been at by chance. His clothes were ripped and there were cuts all over him. He collapsed and Temari rushed him to the hospital. After he recovered, he revealed what had happened over the past years. He had killed Orochimaru and was the reason the rest of them didn't have to take care of Itachi on their Akatsuki raid. That was all he told them. They all knew that he was keeping something secret. Something bad had happened to him. He was always shaking and would flinch if anyone raised his or her arm. Sakura took him into her care, disregarding her training from Tsunade and basically everything else. It apparently had a toll on her, being with the sole Uchiha, for so long… she seemed much denser than before and had apparently ceased being a ninja. Currently, she stayed with Sasuke at the Uchiha mansion.

Temari shrugged and continued toward Shikamaru's place. Sakura nor Ino were any threat. Ino made sure Temari was out of earshot, before turning to Sakura.

"You idiot, you almost got us caught!"

"What were we doing, anyway?" Sakura was terribly confused.

"Idiot Forehead! I already told you, we were spying on Temari!"

"But, why?"

"Well, since Sasuke's no good, I've decided I want Shikamaru."

"I thought you said you hated him!"

"That was a long time ago! And I never _hated_ him, he was like one of my best guy friends. It's kind of deeper now that we're older; I know these things. And I don't want that Sand girl to steal him from me."

"What Sand girl?"

"Stupid Forehead! Temari!"

"Oh! That girl who's moving in with Shikamaru!"

"WHAT?!!!" Ino's scream could be heard across Konoha. "How do you know that!?!?!"

"Oh, Shikamaru visited me and Sasuke with some herbs for him"-Ino flinched, she still kind of liked Sasuke-"and told us about it."

"Ok, this calls for desperate measures..."


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Hey, it's me, again, in the same day, yeah, year-of-the-gnat pressured me and here, I am with Ch. 2 feeling like a total idiot. Well, here it is…

Shikamaru looked up, as Temari stepped in his front door.

"Hey, you're hair's down." He pointed out, cocking his head.

"Yeah, do you like it?" Temari asked.

"You're hair is nice, no matter what you do to it." Shikamaru replied. Temari blushed a little, placed her fan down and sat down next to him on the couch.

"I saw Ino today." Temari said.

"Oh, yeah?" Shikamaru asked. "She's been acting weird lately."

"How so?"

"Well, she's been all nice." Temari smirked. "And she's been…"

"Been what? Surely a genius isn't speechless." He looked sullen.

"Ok, she's been a little…"

"Stupid? Ugly? Blonde? Big-mouthed?"

"She's always all of those things." Temari smirked, again, then she frowned.

"Or are you thinking of flirtatious? Lovesick—"

"Yes, that."

"With you? Certainly not Chouji."

"Chouji wishes…" Shikamaru muttered.

And in fact, Chouji did wish with all of his heart (and fat), but we must not be getting ahead of ourselves.

"Are you serious? Doesn't she know I'm moving in?"

"Apparently, not."

"Maybe I should go inform her." Temari replied, violently, getting up. Shikamaru grabbed her hand.

"Temari, is that really the best thing?" She looked at him.

"For Ino's health, maybe not, but for mine, yeah. And by the way, I think it's high time someone beat some sense into that bimbo." Shikamaru sighed.

"Temari, once she sees you've moved in, she'll realize there's no hope for her."

"Or I could go speed the process up a bit." She said, but still sat down.

"Gee, was that so hard?" Temari glared at him. Shikamaru leaned back and closed his eyes. "You need to learn how to relax."

Little did they know, there were others watching them, these stalkers far more dangerous than Ino and Sakura…

"Did Temari really fall for me acting like I finally realized you hit puberty?" Kankarou asked.

…In the form of overprotective brothers, that is.

"I guess so… even though I hit it ten years ago, before you did." Gaara smirked. Kankarou pouted.

"I hit it last year… I'm just a slow bloomer." He defended himself.

"Ok, get serious, we're seeing how Temari's doing." Gaara reminded him. They watched, curiously from their post in a tree across the street.

"Who does that punk think he is putting his arm around our sister?" Kankarou asked, angrily. "He's half as old as her anyway!"

"Wait-he's the one she fought in our first Chuunin exam." Gaara observed.

"What was his name? Shikimari? Some idiotic name like that." Kankarou sneered.

"It was Shikamaru. He had a shadow technique." Gaara remembered.

"I hated that kid." Kankarou said, almost before Gaara finished the sentence.

"He used that jutsu on me." Kankarou gasped.

"That's it! He has two offenses-no three offenses against the Sand siblings!" Kankarou growled.

"What was the first one, what was the second one and what was the third?" Gaara asked, annoyed by Kankarou and Shikamaru.

"The first one: touching my sister. The second one: he used a jutsu on you-a Kazekage! And third: I just don't like him." Kankarou hissed.

"None of those are offenses at all." Gaara said, calmly. "Besides, I wasn't even a Kazekage when he used the jutsu on me." Kankarou turned back to the window, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'personal violations'. Kankarou then realized Shikamaru and Temari were making out.

"That's it! I'm going down there and ripping the head off that son of a—" Kankarou cursed very loudly. Gaara held Kankarou back, as Kankarou raged more cuss words.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Hello, again! Thank you all for the kind reviews (year-of-the-gnat, I already told them that you helped)… You nice people have convinced me out of my utter laziness to add another chapter! Just so ya know, this one starts in the Uchiha mansion…. Enjoy!

* * *

"I can't believe this!" Ino yelled. "This ruins all my plans!"

"What plans?" Sakura asked, stupidly. Ino smacked her.

"Stupid Forehead! My plans to get Shikamaru!" Ino stopped. The door had just opened. Sasuke stood in the doorway. His shirt was hanging at an odd angle and he looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"I heard yelling." He said, looking kind of dazed.

"Oh, hey, Sasuke! ♥" Ino said, very girlishly. Sakura looked concerned.

"Sasuke, you should be in bed, remember what the therapist said." Sakura replied. Sakura looked at Ino, pointedly. "The therapist said he would be like this." Sasuke frowned.

"I don't want to stay in bed all the time! I want to train, again! Why are you even—" he yelled.

"Come on, Sasuke, the therapist said you needed to stay in bed, just until—"

"I don't care what that quack of a shrink said! I want to train!" Sasuke raised his voice. Sakura looked at Ino, as if she were an unwanted guest (which she probably was) who shouldn't be listening to this conversation. She looked back to Sasuke.

"Come on, Sasuke, I'll take you to bed." She murmured, embarrassedly.

"I don't want to go back to bed—" Sakura had just placed a finger to his temple. His eyes drooped and he muttered, "I'm tired."

"That's right, Sasuke-kun, I'll tuck you in." Sakura said, taking his arm and leading him. Ino was left alone for a minute, plotting her revenge against Temari. Finally, a plan formatted in her mind. Sakura came back, looking annoyed.

"Sakura, I have an idea!" Ino replied. "You're pretty good at draining chakra, like you just did, right?"-Sakura paled-"Can you show me how?" Sakura let out a sigh of relief.

Meanwhile…

"I'm hungry." Naruto said, looking at the ramen shack. "I wish Sasuke were here, but Sakura's locked him up in that mansion, maybe I should break him out." Naruto thought about it. "After I have some ramen." He decided.

Meanwhile…

Kankuro and Gaara walked through Konoha's streets, looking for somewhere to have lunch. Kankuro had an angry expression and his arms were folded across his chest. Gaara looked tired and bored, of course, he always looked tired and he was bored half the time.

"I can't believe this! That-that-that kid kissed _my _sister! He'll die for that." Kankuro raged. Gaara sighed.

"Well, Temari let him and you're starting to sound like I did, before I found out that killing is bad." He drawled. Kankuro looked at him like he was mad.

"But what if he has her under some jutsu, like that shadow one! He could be keeping her prisoner right now!" Gaara stopped and turned to him.

"Kankuro, look at me." Kankuro did. Gaara slapped him and continued walking, saying "Get a hold of yourself." Kankuro hastened to catch up.

"But, Gaara, don't you see—"

"Maybe you're just jealous, you ever think of that?" Gaara asked. Suddenly, Kankuro covered Gaara's mouth and tackled him into the bushes. Passerbys looked at him, like he was crazy.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Gaara yelled, removing Kankuro's hand and piling out of the bushes, brushing leaves and twigs out of his hair. Kankuro jerked him back.

"Shh!" Kankuro pointed at Shikamaru and Temari who were making their way through Konoha. Gaara narrowed his eyes, but still watched.

"You know what?" Temari asked Shikamaru. "After we eat lunch, let's go back to your place and get wasted." Gaara was ready this time to hold Kankuro back. Temari laughed. "I'm glad Kankuro's not here. He would've had a heart attack if he would've heard me say I'm going to get drunk at some boy's apartment." Kankuro jerked forward again, but Gaara held him steady.

Meanwhile, a few minutes afterward…

"There's this really great spot for lunch." Shikamaru said, leading Temari around the streets of Konoha. They were passing a small restaurant named The Kitchen of Youth.

"That's the stupidest name I've ever heard of." Temari remarked. Suddenly, two dark figures towered behind them…


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Thanks again for all the reviews, they are very nice! And since year-of-the-gnat has been begging, I'll ask you to look at Naruto's Narrator. WARNING: Reading Naruto's narrator may make you feel stupider than you did before. And that's how it's fun, though. She wrote that mostly by herself (I gave her a few ideas). Anyway, here's the fourth chapter…

* * *

Shikamaru felt the presence behind him and turned. Lee and Gai stood there in green jumpsuits and chief hats with Kitchen of Youth written on them in sharpie and crayon.

"Shikamaru! I see your youthful mug has not failed you! Come into our restaurant!" Lee shouted. Before Temari and Shikamaru could comprehend the expression, they were dragged in.

"Wait-we don't want—" Shikamaru started, but Gai stuffed something in his mouth. It tasted like over-cooked leather. Shikamaru chewed and chewed, but it wouldn't go away.

"Eat! Eat! Your youthful soul needs ice cream!" Gai smiled. Shikamaru was on the verge of throwing up. Temari looked the same, as Lee had put something in her mouth, as well. The second Gai and Lee looked away to get more food, they spit the food out in a plant pot (where there was also a lot more spit-out food) and ran. Fortunately, they got out.

Behind them, in the restaurant, they could hear. "They disappeared, like all the others!" "There must be something wrong with this restaurant, like it might be cursed or something!" "With our youthfulness, we will beat the curse!"

"If that's your idea of a good restaurant, I need a new boyfriend." Temari moaned, wiping her mouth on her sleeve.

"Trust me, if I ate there regularly, I would be dead by now." Shikamaru retorted, spitting into the grass. "And I had a different idea for lunch."

"I don't have much of an appetite, anymore, let's just go back to your place and get wasted, like we were gonna do in the first place." Temari grinned.

Meanwhile…

"Ok, Hinata, I need your help." Naruto grinned, through a mouthful of ramen. They were sitting at the ramen shack, eating ramen.

"What do you need?" Hinata asked, setting down her ramen.

"I need you to help me break into the Uchiha mansion." Naruto's grin grew wider.

"What?!" Hinata yelled, or muttered uncharacteristically loud, in her case.

"See, Sakura has been keeping Sasuke in there, for a long time and I know he wants to train. He's can't be trapped like a caged bird, he must be free! Or some crap like that. The guy at the 3rd Chuunin exam said something like that to Neji; I don't care. Anyway, we've got to break him out." Naruto exclaimed, gulping down more ramen. Although, she could see several flaws with this plan, she could not refuse and she knew that nothing could change Naruto's mind, when he had it set to something.

"I guess, Naruto, but we need a better plan." Naruto looked confused.

"Plan? We're just gonna break in and get Sasuke and then, we'll leave before Sakura finds us." Naruto explained, patiently. Hinata sighed.

"This might take longer than I thought…"

Meanwhile…

"I can't see anything!" Ino told no one in particular. Sakura had decided to stay home, looking nervously toward Sasuke's room and then, the basement. Ino shifted a little to see through the branches of the tree she was hiding in. Through her binoculars, she was able to see Shikamaru's living room. "There!"

Shikamaru was sitting on the couch, his arm around Temari, who was next to him. They were drinking, like it was going out of style.

"That should be me!" Ino muttered, angrily. Then, she got an idea. "If they get totally wasted, then, I can take care of Temari and get Shikamaru!" Ino smiled, choosing to ignore all the obvious flaws in this plan, merely content to spend the night with Shikamaru alone (no matter how wasted he might be).

Meanwhile…

Gaara and Kankuro were in the tree across the street, again.

"No, Temari, not another bottle." Kankuro cried, putting his face in his hands. "All they've been doing is getting wasted and watching TV for the past hour."

"Well, at least nothing worse has happened." Gaara lied. They had made-out a little, when Kankuro was off… uhm-using the bushes… They faintly heard Temari yell.

"Dude, havin' brothers sucks!" Kankuro put his head down. Gaara narrowed his eyes. They couldn't hear what Shikamaru said, but they heard Temari again. "Well, you ain't missin much, 'cept torture and embarrassment and yea… And then, tellin' half da 'cademy wuzz in your diary…" Kankuro smiled.

"I remember that. I felt bad at the time, but now she deserves it." He chuckled, weakly. Shikamaru said something else, but he wasn't as loud as Temari. It was something about not having a last name. They listened to the conversation in silence, until Temari said something about her last name being Naro.

"Wait-that sounds like Nara, Shikamaru's last name." Gaara stated. Kankuro threw up. "Let's get you to a doctor…" Gaara helped Kankuro to the doctor's office, because he seemed to far in shock to do it himself.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Yeah, I know, I'm posting twice in the same day… AGAIN!! You must think I have no life (sniff, sniff), but this story is actually already finished, I'm just drawing it out… I could leave you hanging for a month… or give you all the chapters now. Well, here's chapter 5. It's pretty much the reason why this fanfic is teen. Enjoy…

* * *

Inside Shikamaru's house… a few seconds beforehand…

"Dude, havin' brothers sucks!" Temari shouted, out of nowhere.

"Tell me about it, I have no siblings." Shikamaru slurred.

"Well, you ain't missin much, 'cept torture and embarrassment and yea…" Temari trailed off. "And then, tellin' half da 'cadamy wuzz in your diary…"

"You don' even have a last name… wuzz up widdat?" Shikamaru asked.

"I 'on't know. All I know, is that it hazz somphin do wid Gaara…" Temari was now slurring.

"Oh… kay… you need a-you need a-you need a real last name." Shikamaru stuttered, taking another swig of sake.

"Well, dat won' madder no more, soon, anyway." Temari also took another swig.

"Why?" Shikamaru asked, through his drunkness. Temari smiled a crooked smile.

"Cuz it'll be Naro, ri'?" Temari asked. Shikamaru looked up.

"Duuude, dat's like mah last naaame." Shikamaru hiccupped.

"Yea, tha's tha pooint, innit?" Shikamaru turned a little redder, and it was not because of alcohol.

"But-but isn' it Nari, or somphin?" Shikamaru asked.

"Duude, we're soooo frickin' wasted." (AN: my favorite line in the entire story, so far, sry just had to say ) They burst out laughing. Shikamaru stopped.

"Wai', 'ow ya spell frick-frek-freakin'?" he asked. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"I'll getit!" Temari yelled, getting up and stumbling, almost falling to the ground. She finally made it to the door, unlocked it and swung it open.

Ino was in the doorway…

"'Ozit?" Ino heard Shikamaru say.

"'O r'you?" Temari asked. Ino smiled and put her finger to Temari's temple. Temari fell down and Ino tossed her into the bushes. She stepped inside, shut the door and locked it. She walked over to Shikamaru and sat down next to him.

"Wurz Temari?" he muttered, looking around.

"She had to go get more sake." Ino replied.

"Oh…" he settled back down. "Cool."

"So, Shikamaru, I've been wondering, when are you going to drop Temari and hang out with your real friends, like me?" Ino batted her eyes at him.

"Duuude, I can't, she needs a last name and stuff, ya know? And besi's bro-broth-brothers suck." Shikamaru answered her, with a goofy grin. Ino was confused and thought fast, or fast for her, she is incapable of thinking, by our definition, fast.

"Shikamaru, I hate to tell you this, but Temari has a husband in the Sand village." Ino lied.

"Really?" Shikamaru asked. He looked shocked and sad.

"Yes." Ino said.

"Oh… but she wuzz gonna move in!" Shikamaru protested.

"All lies." Ino lied, herself. Shikamaru finished the bottle of sake he was on and stared ahead. Suddenly, he fell back against the couch, snoring. Ino cursed.

Meanwhile…

Hinata and Naruto stood in front of Uchiha Manor.

"I thought there were going to be booby traps, or something dangerous, by the way you were talking." Hinata stammered.

"I was really just afraid of invoking Sakura's wrath." Naruto chuckled, sheepishly. "I mean, I haven't talked to her much, since we got back to Konoha after Gaara got captured."

Suddenly, a bolt of lightening hit, somewhere behind the Uchiha mansion and thunder followed it. Rain splashed all around them.

"It's kind of creepy, you know? The mansion, with the lightening and the thunder and the rain. Man, this is freaky." Naruto continued, scratching his head. He opened the door. "Let's go inside, shall we?" Hinata nodded, timidly.

They both entered, slowly. The mansion was creepier inside. The only light came through the windows, where the moon was filtered through dark clouds.

Suddenly, the door slammed behind them. Naruto could barely make out the form of Sakura near the other side of the room. When Naruto was a Genin, this would be one of his dreams; being alone with Sakura at night, but now he knew better… so much better.

"S-s-sakura-chan" Naruto stammered, trying to hide behind Hinata, who was in turn trying to hide behind him. It didn't work. "I was-I was j-just going to ch-check on Sasuke-kun." Sakura smiled and laughed, at the other end of the room.

"Come on, Naruto-kun, follow me." Sakura's voice sounded different. And was it a trick of the light, or did she look different? She turned and went through a door they had not seen before. Hinata gave Naruto a fleeting look. Sakura looked over her shoulder.

"Maybe she should go." She replied, coldly. Hinata looked glanced at Naruto, who shrugged, apologetically, before hurrying out the door, which locked behind her. Naruto followed Sakura into the room. After he had entered, she shut the door and bolted it, standing in front it, her head down.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked. She didn't answer. Naruto looked around and gasped at who he saw walking out of the shadows.

"Ah, Naruto, also the Kyuubi, I found you at last." Said the figure clad in the Akatsuki coat.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Hello everyone… Here's chapter six. It starts in Shikamaru's house, the next day. And I'll tell you again, read Naruto's Narrator, I helped a little with it and year-of-the-gnat would be happy. Sorry, Meng15, Kankuro isn't really treated much better in the chap...

* * *

Shikamaru jolted awake. He looked around.

"Temari, where are you?" he muttered, clutching his head. He noticed the empty sake bottles. "Oh, man, we got wasted. This is one serious hangover."

He stumbled off of the couch and headed outside to get the newspaper. The sun was exceptionally bright and unforgiving.

"Troublesome, it's already noon." He mumbled. He was picking up the paper when he saw a foot sticking out of the bushes. He muffled a yell, before walking over and investigating. There, in the bushes, was Temari, who was apparently unconscious. "She must've gotten more wasted than I did. How did she get out here?" He looked for broken windows, much to his relieve, there were none.

He lifted her up, in his arms and carried her inside. Dropping her on the couch, he proceeded to read the paper, until Temari woke up.

It took about an hour for Temari to wake up. Shikamaru had been forced to read the sports section of the paper, which he absolutely detested.

"Where am I?" Temari asked, weakly.

"You're at my house." Shikamaru explained.

"Oh… we got drunk, didn't we?" Temari asked.

"No, we got frickin' wasted." Shikamaru looked back to the newspaper. Temari sat up.

"What time is it?" she asked, grabbing her head.

"Time for us to never get wasted ever again. I have a migraine, now." Shikamaru complained, frowning.

"Yeah, you're not the only one." Shikamaru walked over to the window and opened it.

"Let's let in some fresh air." He sat back down and looked over the paper, once more. Suddenly, Temari shot up. Shikamaru looked at her. Her green eyes were uncharacteristically blank.

"Shikamaru, I have something to tell you." Temari started.

"What?"

"I'm actually married… to a Sand nin." Temari blurted out. Temari started crying. "I'm-I'm sorry I didn't tell you… it's just I hate him!" Temari yelled. Shikamaru looked at her, over the newspaper, speculatively.

"You're so full of it." He laughed, looking back down at the paper. Suddenly, she ripped the paper out of his hands and threw it on the ground.

"You're as bad as he is!" she yelled, running out. He heard the front door slam. He looked at the door, worriedly.

Meanwhile…

Kankuro was feeling better, but lashed into stony silence whenever Shikamaru or Temari were mentioned.

"Come on, Kankuro, it's not like you can control her life, even though I'm a bit disappointed by her choice, too. I don't even know him. Maybe I should do a background check to see if he's not an out-law, before he's an in-law."

"Or we can just kill him." Kankuro pouted.

"No, let's just use my position to learn about him." Gaara suggested, smartly.

Ten minutes later…

They found Chouji at the Korean BBQ Bar. Kankuro grabbed his shoulder and turned him around, making him spill BBQ down his front.

"Aw, man." Chouji looked at his shirt. He put his BBQ down. "What's your problem, man?"

"We have some questions for you. About Shikamaru." Kankuro narrowed his eyes. Chouji's expression lightened.

"Shikamaru? I actually haven't seen much of him lately." Kankuro sprung immediately on this tidbit of information.

"Why? Has he been hiding from the Konoha authorities?" he asked. Gaara sighed.

"He was in town, yesterday!" Gaara muttered.

"Uhm-no, I don't think he's hiding from Konoha authorities, he spends all his time with his girlfriend, now." Chouji frowned.

"I'm sure he's plotting something." Kankuro accused.

"Gosh, even when I get him alone, she's all he talks about, it gets really annoying." Chouji sighed, shoving some BBQ into his mouth.

"What does he say about her?" Kankuro asked, slamming his hands down onto the table.

"It's not your business about what he says about her, anyway." Chouji eyed him, suspiciously. Gaara tapped Kankuro's shoulder.

"Maybe I should ask the questions." He gently asserted. Kankuro stepped back, reluctantly. "Chouji, is Shikamaru a good person?"

"Yes, he's my best friend." Chouji answered.

"Good enough for me." Gaara shrugged. Kankuro gaped, but Gaara pulled him out of the BBQ.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Thanks for more reviews. They were very nice. Tomorrow, I will be going to my sister's house and I won't be back until Monday. And she doesn't really believe in these websites, so no posts til Monday… But alas, I will post… two chapters today. The third one would be posting, but I have some work to do on it (sigh). Again, read Naruto's Narrator, it's really funny. Here's chapter 7…

* * *

Temari smiled, as she jumped through the trees, or rather Ino smiled in her body. Temari was cursing a lot, as Ino was in control (just in case, you can't guess, Ino used her jutsu dealie on Temari). Eventually, when Ino had decided Temari was far enough out of Konoha to not be found, she released the jutsu and returned to her body, which was in a tree in Shikamaru's yard.

She jumped out of the tree and knocked on Shikamaru's door. Shikamaru opened the door.

"Temar-oh, it's _you_." He tried to close the door, but Ino stuck her foot in it. She invited herself in.

"Where's Temari?" she asked. Shikamaru had a hurt expression.

"Why do you care?" he asked.

"I heard you and Temari broke up." Ino said, trying to look sad, but failed and ended up looking smug.

"How did you know? We just broke up a second ago." Ino faltered for a second.

"I was just passing by and I couldn't help, but overhear." Shikamaru glared at her. "Listen, Shikamaru, she wasn't good for you."

"How do you know?" Shikamaru asked.

"She would probably say _anything_ to get you back." Ino said, grimly. "She's just a big liar. And she cheated on you and her husband."

Temari burst through the front door. Shikamaru looked hopeful, but a little speculative.

"Temari?" he asked. Temari panted, trying to catch her breath.

"Ino had me under her jutsu deal!" Temari yelled, walking quickly toward Ino.

"See! See! I told you!" Ino yelled, hiding behind Shikamaru.

"Who are you going to believe, me, or that scheming little—" Temari cussed.

Shikamaru looked from Ino to Temari, torn between his long-time friend and his long-time love-interest…

Meanwhile…

Naruto laid unconscious in the basement.

"What should we do with him, Master?" Sakura asked. "Shall I go fetch Sasuke?"

"No. We need to wait, until nightfall. If the blonde girl comes back, again, make sure she leaves quickly, but don't act suspicious and play your role." A sinister voice said from the darkness. Sakura bowed.

"Yes, Master." Sakura stepped back and exited. She walked up the stairs and proceeded to the kitchen, almost walking into Ino, who was looking p.o.ed at the moment. "Ino?"

"Sakura! It didn't work! My plan was so perfect! But he still picked Temari! And then, she tried to kill me!" Ino raged.

"What are you talking about?" Sakura asked, in a dumb voice. Ino explained her plan.

"See, it was perfect! Not a single flaw! I'm so mad!" Ino shouted, pacing around the kitchen.

"I'm sorry." Sakura said, politely. "Hey, Ino, I'm-uhm-cleaning, you know? Can you come back later, maybe tomorrow?" she asked, knowing that by tomorrow, everyone in the house would be gone. Ino looked at her, suspiciously, before shrugging and rummaging through the refrigerator.

"Well, I'm gonna get frickin' wasted, you sure you don't wanna come?" Ino asked.

"I have to watch after Sasuke, I can't get drunk." Sakura explained, quickly.

"He seemed fine yesterday."

"Well, he's got a cold, now." Sakura explained, patiently. Ino shrugged and left through the door. As the door closed, Sasuke came stumbling down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Sakura, I can't remember what's been going on. How long have I been here? The last thing I remember is fighting—" Sakura put her finger to his temple. He fell limp into her arms.

"We'll have to fix that, again." She muttered, before carrying him upstairs.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Last chapter for a while… See ya on Monday. Here is chapter 8, I think it's the chortest one, though... .>;; Well, here it is...

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"I wonder where Naruto is…" Hinata muttered, putting down the tea for Neji and her father.

"What was that?" her father asked.

"Oh, nothing…" she trailed off. Her father turned on her.

"No really, what did you say?" he asked.

"Uhm-I was just wondering where Naruto was." Hinata said, defensively.

"Oh. Who is this Naruto?" he asked.

"M-my friend." Hinata stuttered.

"Is it a boy?"

"Y-yeah."

"Why do you care where he is? Is he a good friend?"

"Y-yes. And I care, because yesterday we broke into-I mean tried to visit Sasuke at the Uchiha mansion, but Sakura stopped us and he hasn't come back, yet."

"Who is this Sasuke?"

"I guess he's another friend, kind of. He's not always very nice, though…"

"Is he a boy?"

"Uh, y-yeah."

"How is he not nice?"

"Well, he makes fun of Naruto."

"Why do you care so much for Naruto?"

"Uhm-because he's my best friend." Her father finally resumed drinking his tea with a shrug. Hinata gladly hurried off.

Meanwhile…

Gaara and Kankarou found Ino, who was wasted in a bar. Gaara tapped her shoulder. She turned, rather slowly.

"You're Ino, right?" he asked.

"You betcha!" Ino shouted, cheerfully.

"Do you know Shikamaru?" Gaara asked.

"Uh-do I know Shikamaru? A woman's worst nightmare!" she wailed at the ceiling. Kankarou smirked at Gaara, who didn't look convinced.

"If she were anymore drunk, she would be sweating sake." Gaara muttered. Ino started going on about Shikamaru.

"I thought we were so close! Until"-she hiccupped-"he met that girl with the fan! I guess he found someone more prettier than I am to take advantage of! Now, he doesn't even talk to me!" Ino started crying. Kankarou's smirk was larger. Gaara scowled.

"She's probably crying sake now." Gaara retorted.

"Why do you think she got drunk in the first place? I'm glad I cared enough about our sister to investigate." Kankarou said, worriedly. He turned to leave.

"You're nice ladies." Ino called after them. "I hope Shikamaru doesn't take advantage of you, too." She said, cheerful again.

"Oh, he won't ever take advantage of anyone ever again." Kankarou cracked his knuckles.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Hello! Sorry, I didn't get home til late on Monday (as in 3AM Tuesday) and I had computer trouble yesterday… But I'll put up the last few chapters. And telling you now, this is where it starts to get kind of… crappy, in my opinion (year-of-the-gnat thinks different). This was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but we got carried away and eventually wanted to end it. But I still hope you like it. Chapter 9, initiate…

* * *

Temari and Shikamaru were trying to find someplace to eat dinner at. Suddenly, they saw Hinata, who was looking extremely depressed. They hurried over to her.

"What's wrong, Hinata?" Temari asked.

"It's Naruto-kun… I can't find him! He's not at home and Jiraiya doesn't know where he is, either. I'm worried!" she whimpered.

"Well, what happened? When did you last see him?" Shikamaru asked.

"Well, we-we kind of broke into the Uchiha mansion the night before last. Sakura found us and was leading Naruto to Sasuke, when she told me to leave and I did. And I haven't seen him since." Hinata finished.

"He couldn't be on a mission…" Temari muttered in thought.

"He's probably still at the Uchiha mansion." Shikamaru concluded. "But what could he be doing?"

"Sakura was acting weird." Hinata offered.

"Weird, how?" Temari asked.

"She looked kind of different." Hinata murmured.

"Maybe we should go check to see if he's there." Temari suggested. Hinata nodded.

Suddenly, Kankarou came walking quickly toward them, with Gaara trailing behind him.

"Kankarou, don't let her see us. She'll kill us." Gaara whimpered. Temari looked up. "Oh, shoot."

"Kankarou? Gaara? What are you doing here?" Temari asked.

"We've been following you ever since we got here..." Kankarou waved his hand dismissively. "But that's not the point."

"What is?" Temari asked, angrily. "And think carefully, because if it's not good enough, I'm just going to kill you."

"Oh, it's good enough." Temari raised an eyebrow. "Did you know that boy"-Kankarou pointed at Shikamaru-"is the male equivalent of a slut?"

"What?!" Temari asked. Shikamaru looked offended.

"What did you call me?" he asked, stepping in front of Temari.

"I'm sorry." He stepped forward, so that his face was an inch from Shikamaru's and screamed "I CALLED YOU A GOOD-FOR-NOTHING, LITTLE TURD THAT TAKES ADVANTAGE OF GIRLS!!" Temari punched Kankarou in the face. Blood spluttered from his nose. "God, Temari, calm down, we came to warn you!"

"What do you mean 'we'? I had nothing to do with it." Gaara added, quickly. Shikamaru stepped between Kankarou and Temari.

"Maybe you shouldn't fight." Shikamaru suggested. They pushed him out of the way.

"Temari, I have proof that Shikamaru is a—"

"Don't even say it, Kankarou." Gaara warned.

"—Bad person, ok, gosh…" Kankarou finished.

"What kind of proof?" Temari asked.

"I have an eyewitness." Kankarou proclaimed.

"Let me guess-a wasted Ino." Shikamaru suggested. Kankarou looked shocked.

"She was just vaguely buzzed." Kankarou said.

"Vaguely? She was crying sake and sweating it." Gaara smirked. Kankarou narrowed his eyes.

"Did anyone ask you?" he asked.

"No, no one has to ask me." Gaara snapped.

"Ino's exactly words were that Shikamaru was a woman's nightmare!" Kankarou proclaimed, triumphantly. Temari snorted, derisively.

"And then she called us women." Gaara politely interrupted. Suddenly, Naruto and Sakura were walking past them.

"Naruto?" Hinata cried. He did not seem to notice.

"Yo, Naruto!" Shikamaru yelled. Naruto did not turn.

"What's with him?" Gaara asked.

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out." Hinata said. She ran over to Naruto and grabbed his shoulder. Naruto kept walking on. Hinata ran in front of him. "Naruto, why are you—" Naruto shoved her out of the way, to the ground.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Ch. 10 isn't as bad as Ch. 9, but in the end, you'll probably be mad… it's really weak. Well, here it is… Oh, yeah, read Naruto's Narrator.

* * *

Temari and the others ran up beside Hinata. Shikamaru got in front of Sakura and Naruto. 

"What's your deal?" he yelled. They looked around to see the others surrounding them. They jumped over them and headed for the village gate.

"Let's follow them, something's wrong here." Temari replied. They quickly chased after the two, who disappeared, momentarily. They tracked them into the forest where Temari (who was in the lead) gasped. There was Itachi and Sasuke standing side-by-side. Naruto and Sakura were standing before him. Temari jumped to the ground. Shikamaru was behind her.

"Ah, I see." Shikamaru said, softly.

"What's going on?" Kankuro asked. By now, Temari understand, too.

"Obviously, Sasuke was hypnotized by Itachi during their fight." Temari explained, hurriedly.

"I thought I told you to make sure you weren't being followed." Itachi growled, softly. Sakura bowed.

"I'm sorry, master, but there were complications." She muttered. Itachi started walking away. Naruto followed.

"Sakura, Sasuke, stay here. Fight to the death. If you survive, you may come." Itachi called over his shoulder. Hinata started running after him. Sakura and Sasuke ran toward her. Sand appeared in front of them, shielding Hinata.

"She's not your opponent, we are." Gaara smiled.

"Thanks, Gaara." Hinata shouted, disappearing into the forest. There was a scream.

"Shikamaru, go check on Hinata!" Temari yelled. Shikamaru headed off in the direction Hinata left. Soon, he saw Hinata lying on her back, bleeding out of her mouth and a gash on her arm. He quickly ran over to her.

"Hinata, are you ok?" he asked. Hinata coughed up blood.

"Help Naruto, I'll be ok." Hinata murmured.

"You sure?" Shikamaru asked. Hinata nodded, painfully. Shikamaru got up and ran the direction he thought was correct. Suddenly, Naruto fell from a tree branch above him and smashed his fist into Shikamaru's head. Shikamaru went flying into a tree, and his body disappeared in smoke. It had been a shadow clone. Shikamaru jumped from above and quickly knocked Naruto out cold.

"Now where's Itachi?" he asked, looking around.

"Right here." a voice replied behind him. Shikamaru turned around. Nothing was there. Shikamaru jumped down from the tree. He turned around and there was Itachi, two inches from him. He looked up into his eyes, but quickly averted his eyes downward and jumped backward, glad he had escaped being pulled into the illusion. He drew kunai, but Itachi disappeared. Suddenly, Temari jumped down from a nearby tree.

"I came to help, Shikamaru. Where's Itachi?" she asked, taking off her fan. Suddenly, there was the tip of a sword sticking out of her stomach. Blood sputtered out, as she dropped her fan.

"Temari!" Shikamaru yelled. The sword was pulled out and Temari fell forward. Shikamaru caught her and jumped behind a close tree. She coughed up blood. Shikamaru put her down on the ground. "Are you alright?"

"What do you think?" Temari snapped, and then grabbed her wound. Itachi appeared in front of them.

"It's too late for you." he hissed, grabbing Temari and disappearing. Shikamaru jumped up and sprinted around, frantically searching.

Eventually, he found Temari dead in a pool of her blood with a sword sticking out of her chest. Itachi was standing behind her.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: This is the last chapter, and is probably the weakest crap ending you've EVER read. What can I say? We really wanted to get it over and actually, we weren't going to put it up on I'm really sorry it's so bad. Well, this is the last time I'll ask you to read Naruto's Narrator. And I have another fanfic to suggest: Naruto's Weakening Seal and the Darkness Shinobi, it's not crazy (mostly) and I think it's pretty good, so read it, please. And here is chapter 11…

* * *

He put a foot on her face and jerked out his sword. He suddenly appeared in front of Shikamaru and stabbed him in the stomach. Unbearable pain rippled through Shikamaru's body. Itachi twisted the sword before taking it out and this time aiming for his head. Itachi suddenly looked up, annoyed, and Shikamaru realized that the sky was red. 

Suddenly, everything faded out and he woke up to Temari shaking him.

"Shikamaru? Are you ok?" Temari asked him.

"Yeah, you're not dead?" he asked. Temari looked at him like he was crazy.

"Not yet. But if Gaara doesn't hold up…" Shikamaru hugged her. "Shikamaru, now's not the time." Shikamaru pulled away and got up. Kankuro was a short distance away, carrying Sakura and Sasuke (who were both unconscious). Temari picked up Naruto. "Come on, Shikamaru, let's go. I think Gaara can hold off Itachi for a while."

Shikamaru noticed Gaara, who was fighting Itachi a little ways away. Shikamaru followed Temari back to the village gates. ANBU squads were alerted and sent out.

Gaara came back an hour later with a couple of cuts and bruises, but he was okay, the sand had protected him well enough and he knew not to look into Itachi's eyes. Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were ok after a long session with Tsunade and the white room.

After a couple of days…

"Bye, Kankuro. Bye, Gaara." Temari hugged her brothers.

"See ya." Shikamaru said, shaking their hands. They were headed back to the Sand village, after Naruto's house party in Sasuke's mansion (it was forced on Sasuke's account). Kankuro and Gaara headed off with a squad of Sand nins, who had been waiting patiently in Konoha for five days, after Temari alerted them that the Kazekage was ok and in the village.

Temari and Shikamaru walked home (Temari had moved, finally). Ino was waiting there.

"Shikamaru, I've come to say farewell, I've set my sights on Sasuke, now that's he's kicked Sakura out." Ino simpered. She walked away, toward the Uchiha mansion, which now had new traps for fangirls. Naruto had helped, but his were more like pranks, water balloons with glue and bags of feathers, that sort of thing, Sasuke's were more… fiery, which was the one word to describe him after he found out what had been happening. That was when Sakura screamed "HE'S MINE!!!" to which Ino responded "NO WAY, FOREHEAD!". Shikamaru and Temari heard a scream and an explosion, Sasuke's cold laughter in the background.

Naruto (who was passing by) turned to Hinata, Kiba and Shino (who were walking with him to the Ramen shack, he had intended to only treat Hinata for helping to rescue him, but Kiba and Shino had come, too) and smiling, said "I helped Sasuke with those traps." There was a loud creak and a splatting noise.

"AAHHHH!!! MY HAIR!!!!" Naruto's smile grew wider. "That one would be mine!" Jiraiya tapped him on the shoulder.

"Naruto, we're through interrogating Itachi. Apparently, he's the only one left, so you can rest easy…" They all laughed.

"As if I haven't already been!" Naruto shouted. Jiraiya, Kiba and Shino quickly smacked him on the head. Hinata sighed.

"Looks like things are back to normal." Shikamaru smiled.

"Normal? This is what you call normal?" Temari asked. They made-out. The End.

EN (ending note): Wow, I've never done an ending note… anyway, I just wanted to tell y'all stuff about the story (gack! How dare you make us read more after that crappy ending?!). It was originally called 'How Ino Died', but we never really got around to killing Ino, so we then named it 'How Ino _Almost_ Died'. But she never was in a life-threatening situation (Shikamaru and Hinata were, but they're not Ino, thankfully). Of course, we never got around to changing the title and 'How Ino Almost Died' kind of stuck (and it was a fun title!) Me and year-of-the-gnat also made this whole fanfic on the phone, on weekends, it didn't take as long as you would think, it took longer, because most of the time, we're totally insane, but we never worked on this story during these times, because this is our serious story. I'll probably get year-of-the-gnat to post the crazy ones. Well, that's pretty much it… Thanks for reading this far! Oh and if you made it this far, could you please review? I like reviews...


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